For the architect Leda Maia, 32, the separation was a real relief. "We were married for eight years and being a mom has always been my dream. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, my husband changed. He barely spoke to me, did not accompany me to the doctor did not ask about the baby. This went on for five months. When I called to talk he admitted that he was with someone else and had not asked for the separation situation. I said that was what he wanted to leave. I was not going to subject myself to that and not bring a child into the world in the midst of such a scenario", account.
Determined to hold the bar and end the relationship, Leda followed an old and well-known directors. "My mother always told me son not sure anyone. And I believe. I do not want next to me someone who is not happy, especially now. I will not say it does not hurt because it hurts a lot. However, in order to pregnancy need of peace and support. And that he was not giving me".
Leda believes that the separation was the best way. "After the baby is born we'll see how the story will be heading. After all, the child is also his, and if he fulfill his duties, will have their rights. So far I have not heard from him and a reconciliation is totally out of my plans", Says the architect, that he is ready for motherhood.
Light at the end of the tunnel
Some people go through hard times during pregnancy to then enjoy a good time, as the economist Tatiana Silveira, 26. "My pregnancy was unplanned. We were married two years ago and the news fell like a bomb. My husband said it was not the time to have a child and I did not agree. The fights started getting more frequent and, when I reached the fourth month of pregnancy, he left home and moved to another city. I was devastated".
With the help of family and friends, Tatiana managed to move on. "On the day the baby was born he appeared at the hospital. My sister had warned my ex-mother in law, who told him. Really I did not expect and was surprised by the visit. He apologized, said he was frightened by the responsibilities that would have to take, but, from that moment I knew I was ready. I suffered a lot during pregnancy, thought every day in what would be of me and the baby without him around. Despite all the pain, I forgave him and today we are a very happy family", account.
Have conflicts of any kind during pregnancy is not cool. At this stage, the woman must be in physical and psychological balance for the baby to come into the world with health and tranquility. Stress affects the adrenal gland, which secretes large amounts of hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline in the body. This can change blood pressure, blood sugar, suppress the immune system, among other symptoms that can harm the health of the expectant mother and consequently the baby.
"It is healthy for parents to know that the baby needs a good start, with a friendly environment to meet with serenity to the needs that will contribute to your mental health. So it is important that everyone, despite the pain of separation, try to take care of your issues, in order to ensure the balance of this environment, so it can be good enough for this baby"Concludes Cynthia Boscovich.
Tips to cross the stage with balance
Cynthia Boscovich psychologist indicates that there are no ready-made recipes that solve the problem of separation in pregnancy altogether. "What works for one couple may not necessarily work for another"He says.
However, gives the follow couples Some tips which will ensure a much more balanced crossing. According to expert, the agreements are essential to live in balance, even separated. "I realize more and more the parents' interest in sharing the tasks of the children with mothers, including in participating not only education, but also day to day them".
Cynthia Boscovich - http://www.cuidadomaterno.com.br