Creating the child alone – Missing Father

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THE missing father does not mean, of course, he would never go to the ball children. Some are more present, others less so. "My oldest daughter had pneumonia and remained hospitalized one week in the hospital. The seven days I was six. Father, just one. I had to warn that it would miss work and stayed with her all the time"Reports Carolina. Luciana have had more luck. The father of Italo, who now lives in London, has with him a great relationship, even from a distance. "He calls always, talk with our son, come to Brazil for the birthday little parties, travels with him and still participates in education. It's funny, because the Italo has a very strong bond with him and obey him without contesting. It was thanks to a father's request that he dropped his diaper and began to use the toilet. The battle now is to make it drop a pacifier"She laughs.

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In the name of the Father

Some parents, unfortunately, do not assume their role and ignore the child. "Unfortunately it exists, but the father's presence It is also very relative. The father can be present and do not give a damn son", Says Luciana. For her, even with the lot of difficulties in life single mother, You can see the positive side of things. "Good to raise the child alone is it that you say is law. With someone else, it is more complicated. The father can both get help when filling the bag with guess. Sometimes she even takes her mother's authority. Creating alone, there is no shock", He says.

It is very common to hear mothers to report that his former comrades are great parents, although they were lousy partners. And it is up to the mother never tarnish the image of the father to his children

The father's role

Before imposing the father of the child the need to be present, you must know if he is really willing to live with the child and to monitor their growth and development. "If the parent does not want to participate, it is best to remain aloof and out of touch because, to be with his son, he will demonstrate their indifference or irritation for not wanting to be there, which can lead to emotional problems by child account feel rejected by father"Recommends Olga Tessari. But if the father wants to take part, so must maintain a constancy in their contact, meet the child in person whenever possible, to know his life and monitor their development. "In this sense, the mother's relationship with her father must be at least cordial, because former couples who have conflicts can not always separate them from the care of the child, and often end up using the child as a tool"Warns psychologist.

The problem is generally not in the physical absence of the father, but in the way the mother handles this absence, which can be critical in a child's emotional foundation. Mothers who miss the man with whom they are related, they do not accept the fact that they were separated from him and they attach to split most of its current problems can collaborate so that their children have problems. This is because they have the image of the father a person who makes his mother suffer, which can lead to relationship problems with the male figure or even difficult to relate to his father in the future.

A good relationship with former is fundamental, but not all women can keep it. In short, the children will cope well with the absence of the parent if the mother not deal with it well. It is important to note that children learn to deal with reality through the mother. Therefore, according to Olga, it should be clear that one thing is the man-woman relationship ended; quite another is the parent-child relationship, father-mother, which will continue throughout life. "It is very common to hear mothers to report that his former comrades are great parents, although they were lousy partners. And it is up to the mother never tarnish the image of the father to his children"Is recommended.

Own life

Being a mother alone has its pains and pleasures, but most of the time it takes strength to keep our feet on the ground and self-esteem at the top. If you are going through it, try not to regret or blame anyone, not itself, nor attribute to the lack of father their problems. If the situation tightening, it's worth seeking help from family and friends that can give support in times of difficulty or simply take care of the child when you have some commitment. Speaking of which, it is essential to have time for herself! "It is important to have friends and a social life. After all, sooner or later, the child will grow up and go your way. What will become of a mother who annulled all life because of it?"Asks Olga.